How I upset my love spells big time

 

This is a how not to guide from a client of mine, who nearly ruined his love spells and lived, just, to tell the tale. I asked him to write about it so that all my clients can learn that love and love spells always succeed, even when against the odds, if you really want them to enough.

My girlfriend left me, to be honest because I let her down in ways I wont go into. I thought it would all be fine, I'd get over missing her, I'd have a great time, free, young, single, tons of birds, tons of sex, booze ups, boys nights out and I could spend more time concentrating on my career without distractions. I guess I didn't realise what I had until I lost it, old story, they may say there are more fish in the sea, but they don't tell you those fish are piranha. It took me some time to realise that it wasn't the piranha I wanted but my ex. Being single seemed like it would have so many upsides, more room in the bed, but the bed is empty. I could do whatever I wanted, but my girlfriend never stood in my way anyway and she had made every moment more enjoyable, there were few things I enjoyed as much without her and I found I was free to be lonely, free to dread long weekends, free to hate the idea of holidays alone, free to get depressed, free to miss her and pretend I didn't to myself. Of course I had my mates, but they have girlfriends and wives whose company they enjoy in their free time. And more than all that, I realised slowly that I do love my girlfriend, how could I not realise? I don't know, I think I did, just took everything for granted to the extent my feelings got submerged and then I denied them to myself, would not acknowledge them even to myself because it was frightening to love a woman who would make a perfect wife. There, I've said it.

So I found the lovely Carmen and ordered Destiny Love Spells. I had played dungeons and dragons as a kid, which was the nearest I'd got to magic, but somehow it just came into my head to buy love spells. Carmen told me what to do, nothing but try and think positively. I did find it hard at first but after sending my girlfriend some roses a week and an email after my spells were cast, I got a good response. "The shape of things to come," as Carmen said, so I felt quite confident. My girlfriend answered and thanked me for my gift. The next day I emailed her again, how sorry I was for all that had happened, it was all my fault, please see me, the usual grovelling. She said she wasn't sure. I wasn't expecting that. I somehow thought she'd leap into my arms saying all was forgiven. That night a mate rang and asked me to a party, I went, met a girl who I knew was a friend of my ex, and we got plastered. I don't know why I was so stupid, I was though and we were no longer 'strangers in the night,' by morning. That's when I started to sweat, if she told my girlfriend, I was dead meat, nothing could stop that, magic or not.

I told Carmen, hard to admit, I'd been a plonker, she told me to calm down and that she would cast an emergency spell to help clear up the mess, a First Aid Love Spell. She cast it that day, but before she did I got an email from my girlfriend saying she was glad I'd found someone new, that I'd done her a big favour as she was far happier single. Carmen told me that my girlfriend was angry but would get over it, I'd just delayed things. So that night, I went out again to drown my sorrows with the same mate and oh dear, got drunk again. We ended up getting extremely drunk and shouting outside my girlfriend's house at 2am, and being sick, well I was. I wasn't sick on her cat or anything, only into her window box. On the bright side, my cell was warmer than the welcome my girlfriend gave me. On my release for being drunk and disorderly, Carmen told me that I needed to show my girlfriend all the good things she was missing, not make her desire residence in a nunnery. When the 12% proof left my veins, I agreed. I'm not usually a plonker and I decided to prove to my ex that I was amazing instead of amazingly awful. Carmen told me not to strain myself, and think before I acted, that I was running on emotion and no thought, but all would be alright as long as I stayed positive.

I can now do positive for England, no-one can out positive me. And I did, I went round to my mum's got well fed, chatted about the situation, and she helped me see it from the woman's side. They like to know where they are with a bloke, so I made it my mission to show my ex, that not only was I reformed, I loved her openly, no mealy mouthed, half a***d declarations I was going to sing my heart out from the rooftops until she heard me.

You can get a bit hoarse after singing for two months, but I did, and I wrote her a song, telling her how I felt, wrote her emails telling her why I loved her, what I loved about her, told her how our future would be and that no-one would do for me but her. I wrote to her that she had loved me for who I am and that is the best love in the world and I wanted the best and she is it. I sent her flowers and chocolates, jewellery with our names engraved on it and lastly, a month ago, I asked her if she would do me the honour of spending the weekend with me, a romantic weekend in Barcelona. I told her I knew I was on trial and deserved to be but she'd make me very happy if she'd accompany me. Two days later she agreed, my heart was in my mouth when she phoned me!

And one day I will make her my wife, I may be a fool, but not such a fool I make the same mistake twice. My ex is now my girlfriend, and I have Carmen most of all, my Mum, and of course my love spells to thank. I think that if you really love someone, love spells feed off that energy, it's just my theory, and so, really however stupid I was and I know I was, in the end, even I couldn't mess up my magic. I wish the same happiness to all of you who read this, you can't make a greater f*****g mess than I did, but if you keep at it, keep trying, love and love spells find a way, as Carmen always says.

(posed by models)

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